Entities 4

According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First I received the support of psychiatric medications but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The road is two hours. Without medication I struggled, got bored and felt overwhelmed but this situation carried me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solve my sleep problem and took away the fatigue created by the unique thing I was experiencing. The curiosity I had always felt towards mysticism and metaphysical subjects also made me feel as if the situation I was in was a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than terrifying was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always affected me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital did me no good other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, they were trying to calm me with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head caused me to think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from the fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained as an unforgettable experience in my mind. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences being meaningless and expressing nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, despising it and having an attitude that sees it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave one in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and for hundreds of centuries by nature being in cooperation. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had him write one of his works. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and openly expressed this. This polyphony gradually disappeared. It's as if spirituality or practices are being deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and according to rules they were hidden from ordinary people. The point I want to reach is that whatever human or human community accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, including the Abrahamic religions that I prefer to call truth, that considers nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributes divine powers to it, whether it resembles or doesn't resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness of existence enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), or someone's not giving importance to these nuclei or lacking meaning-making which makes him more human, causes the mind and existence to be isolated, alienated and to move away and create an imaginary world for himself where this lost meaning doesn't exist. This was exactly the cause of what I experienced. When I was in a lonely and painful period and started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is perhaps one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not in anxiety to be understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say here is a human being like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks that I am said to have experienced do not contain a spectacular excitement of course. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences and that both are normal. In this case, whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or if my concentration capacity is above normal, I doubt that the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious sufi experience but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the Kars-born mystic who tells the world that telepathy is possible, which blend Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by the tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole endeavor started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a devotion suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible with a non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm reflects on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, although staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was a boundless horizon. First I continued to search for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similars of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each figure created has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to another dimension that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allowed, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffitist's tag or signature. The Stained Figures of So-Called Schizophrenia In a 3-month process I experienced, according to psychiatrists' definition, the psychosis I entered increasing in effect and reaching a schizophrenic point. As one of those who are rarely aware of their own condition, I consider myself lucky. I knew what I was experiencing I harbored neither fear nor anxiety. The figurized stains flowing before my eyes, although not as colorful as I painted them, it wouldn't be wrong to call this extraordinary. The human mind is an unlimited creator in producing free and varied mutant faces or beings, should I say. A science fiction of its own. The contour variations of the emerging and surface-moving figures are rich. The contour boundaries and the patterns they contain are adjacent to each other and nested, overlapping and side by side in places. I watched their flows at variable speeds from surfaces and grounds and sometimes from the atmosphere. Sometimes a figure that attracted my interest more slowed down and allowed me to observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future filled me. As if I knew deep down that what I was experiencing was temporary. I am lucky to have been able to possess this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenia rich in visual abundance. What would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First I received the support of psychiatric medications but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The road is two hours. Without medication I struggled, got bored and felt overwhelmed but this situation carried me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solve my sleep problem and took away the fatigue created by the unique thing I was experiencing. The curiosity I had always felt towards mysticism and metaphysical subjects also made me feel as if the situation I was in was a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than terrifying was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always affected me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital did me no good other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head caused me to think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from the fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained as an unforgettable experience in my mind. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences being meaningless and expressing nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, despising it and having an attitude that sees it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave one in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and for hundreds of centuries by nature being in cooperation. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had him write one of his works. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and openly expressed this. This polyphony gradually disappeared. Spirituality or practices are being deliberately corrupted it seems. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and according to rules they were hidden from ordinary people. The point I want to reach is that whatever human or human community accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, including the Abrahamic religions that I prefer to call truth, that considers nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributes divine powers to it, whether it resembles or doesn't resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness of existence enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), or someone's not giving importance to these nuclei or lacking meaning-making which makes him more human, causes the mind and existence to be isolated, alienated and to move away and create an imaginary world for himself where this lost meaning doesn't exist. This was exactly the cause of what I experienced. When I was in a lonely and painful period and started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is perhaps one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not in anxiety to be understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say here is a human being like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks that I am said to have experienced do not contain a spectacular excitement of course. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences and that both are normal. In this case, whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or if my concentration capacity is above normal, I doubt that the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious sufi experience but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the Kars-born mystic who tells the world that telepathy is possible, which blend Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by the tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole endeavor started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a devotion suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible with a non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm reflects on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, although staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was a boundless horizon. First I continued to search for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similars of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each figure created has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to another dimension that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allowed, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffitist's tag or signature.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2026
• Style: Abstract
• Subject Matter: Figure
• Surface: Canvas
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.004
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Technique: Brush Work
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 9