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According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is a syndrome with continuity that is seen as chronic, not acute. First I received support from psychiatric medications but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The road is two hours. I struggled without medication, got bored and depressed but this situation took me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solve my sleeping problem and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. The curiosity I've always had about mysticism and metaphysical subjects also made me feel that my current situation seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome, which I find interesting rather than terrifying, was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle, mythological beings sometimes mixed in. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always affected me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was hospitalized in a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's call them special people whom I was happy to meet, they welcomed me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. the hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, they were trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss myself, to love myself. It was as if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I was experiencing with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with attacks that intensified from time to time remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it and seeing it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave one in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are taking place regarding the validity of the fact that different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions can see other dimensions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order he exists in is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be consciously corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to rules. The point I want to reach, which I prefer to call truth, including Abrahamic religions, finding nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributing divine powers to it, whether it resembles or does not resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, whatever human or human community that accepts more of a spiritual atmosphere, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness of existence that is enslaved to endless acquisition and possession (human or product), or someone's not giving importance to these nuclei or lacking meaning-making which makes them more human, the alienation and estrangement of mind and existence, moving away and creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning does not exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they create in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not in anxiety about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that man cannot help but say here is a person like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks, which I am said to have experienced, certainly do not contain a spectacular excitement. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's insistence that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my concentrated meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my concentration capacity is above normal, the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the mystic born in Kars who tells the world that telepathy is possible, which blend Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from devotion suddenly to nothingness. My escape from this nothingness became possible with non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from any search, even though my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, even though staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this totality flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to paint? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similar to these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. It's quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of these moving figures. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and integrity. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once excitedly witnessed, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature. The So-Called Stained Figures of Schizophrenia In a 3-month process I experienced, according to psychiatrists' definition, the psychosis I entered increased in effect and reached a schizophrenic point. As one of those who is rarely aware of my own condition I consider myself lucky. I knew what I was experiencing I harbored neither fear nor anxiety. The figurative stains flowing before my eyes were not as colorful as I painted them, but it wouldn't be wrong to describe this as extraordinary. The human mind is an unlimited creator in producing free and varied mutant faces or beings, should I say. A unique science fiction. The contour variations of the emerging and surface-moving figures are rich. Contour boundaries and the patterns they contain are adjacent to each other and in places nested, overlapping and side by side. I was able to watch their flows from surfaces and grounds sometimes from the atmosphere at varying speeds. Sometimes a figure that attracted my attention more slowed down and allowed me to observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future filled me. It was as if I knew deep down that what I was experiencing was temporary. I am lucky to have been able to possess this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenia with rich visual richness. What would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is a syndrome with continuity that is seen as chronic, not acute. First I received support from psychiatric medications but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The road is two hours. I struggled without medication, got bored and depressed but this situation took me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solve my sleeping problem and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. The curiosity I've always had about mysticism and metaphysical subjects also made me feel that my current situation seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome, which I find interesting rather than terrifying, was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle, mythological beings sometimes mixed in. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always affected me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was hospitalized in a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's call them special people whom I was happy to meet, they welcomed me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. the hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss myself, to love myself. It was as if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I was experiencing with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with attacks that intensified from time to time remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it and seeing it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave one in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are taking place regarding the validity of the fact that different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions can see other dimensions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order he exists in is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be consciously corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to rules. The point I want to reach, which I prefer to call truth, including Abrahamic religions, finding nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributing divine powers to it, whether it resembles or does not resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, whatever human or human community that accepts more of a spiritual atmosphere, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness of existence that is enslaved to endless acquisition and possession (human or product), or someone's not giving importance to these nuclei or lacking meaning-making which makes them more human, the alienation and estrangement of mind and existence, moving away and creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning does not exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they create in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not in anxiety about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that man cannot help but say here is a person like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks, which I am said to have experienced, certainly do not contain a spectacular excitement. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's insistence that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my concentrated meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my concentration capacity is above normal, the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the mystic born in Kars who tells the world that telepathy is possible, which blend Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from devotion suddenly to nothingness. My escape from this nothingness became possible with non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from any search, even though my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, even though staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this totality flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to paint? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similar to these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. It's quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of these moving figures. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and integrity. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once excitedly witnessed, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2025
• Style: Pop Art
• Subject Matter: Abstract
• Surface: Wood Panel
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.04
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Technique: Brush Work
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 1