Queen

According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First, I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey is two hours. Without medication, I struggled, got bored and depressed, but this situation carried me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions, but they solve my sleep problems and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. My curiosity about mysticism and metaphysical subjects that I've always felt made me feel that the situation I was in seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome, which I found interesting rather than terrible, was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always impressed me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team of men and women talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, they were trying to calm me with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from the fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. They made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it briefly. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, despising it and seeing it as rabble ignorance should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where possession and competition have no end, an individual knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah made him write one of his works. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to people and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is what I prefer to call truth, including Abrahamic religions, considering nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributing divine powers to it, whether resembling or not resembling mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material, regardless of which human or human community accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness that being enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product) causes to existence, and some people's lack of importance or meaning to these nuclei, which makes them more human, the isolation and alienation of mind and being, moving away and creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning does not exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. When I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found during a period when I was alone and in pain, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original in their poems, plastic arts, or different practices that they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not anxious to be understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say what a human being like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks, which I am said to have experienced, certainly do not contain spectacular excitement. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can sometimes be reached much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my capacity for concentration is above normal, whether the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced was an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I randomly drew freehand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And with the compositions of the mystic born in Kars, Gurdjieff, who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a devotion suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden from the medications I quit, although staying awake for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First, I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to paint? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similarities of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. Defining my works as abstract graffiti suits me. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, on top of each other, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature. The Stained Figures of So-Called Schizophrenia In a 3-month period I experienced, according to psychiatrists' definition, the effect of the psychosis I entered increased and reached a schizophrenic point. As one of those who are rarely aware of my own condition, I consider myself lucky. I knew what I was experiencing and harbored neither fear nor anxiety. Although the figurative stains flowing before my eyes were not as colorful as I painted them, it would not be wrong to call this extraordinary. The human mind is an unlimited creator in producing free and varied mutant faces or beings, shall I say. A unique science fiction. The contour variations of the emerging and mobile figures on the surface are rich. Contour boundaries and the patterns they contain are adjacent to each other and sometimes nested, overlapping and side by side. I watched their flow from surfaces and grounds, sometimes from the atmosphere at variable speeds. Sometimes a figure that captured my interest more allowed me to slow down and observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future covered me. As if I knew from within that what I experienced was temporary. I am lucky to have been able to have this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenia with rich visual wealth. What would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First, I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey is two hours. Without medication, I struggled, got bored and depressed, but this situation carried me to a point where I should be. The medications don't prevent these illusions, but they solve my sleep problems and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. My curiosity about mysticism and metaphysical subjects that I've always felt made me feel that the situation I was in seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome, which I found interesting rather than terrible, was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always impressed me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team of men and women talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me with suggestive words, making it clear that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they kept me away from the fear I would feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. They made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it briefly. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, despising it and seeing it as suitable for rabble ignorance should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where possession and competition have no end, an individual knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah made him write one of his works. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added a lot to people and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is what I prefer to call truth, including Abrahamic religions, considering nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributing divine powers to it, whether resembling or not resembling mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material, regardless of which human or human community accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness that being enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product) causes to existence, and some people's lack of importance or meaning to these nuclei, which makes them more human, the isolation and alienation of mind and being, moving away and creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning does not exist causes. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. When I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found during a period when I was alone and in pain, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original in their poems, plastic arts, or different practices that they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not anxious to be understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say what a human being like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks, which I am said to have experienced, certainly do not contain spectacular excitement. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can sometimes be reached much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my capacity for concentration is above normal, whether the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced was an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I randomly drew freehand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And with the compositions of the mystic born in Kars, Gurdjieff, who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a devotion suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden from the medications I quit, although staying awake for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First, I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to paint? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similarities of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. Defining my works as abstract graffiti suits me. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, on top of each other, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figural interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2026
• Style: Abstract
• Subject Matter: Figure
• Surface: Wood Panel
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.004
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 7