Bunny Soul

According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First, I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey takes two hours. Without medication, I struggled, got bored, and felt overwhelmed, but this situation brought me to a point where I needed to be. The medications don't prevent these illusions, but they solve my sleep problems and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. The curiosity I've always had about mysticism and metaphysical subjects made me feel as if the situation I was in was a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than frightening was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always greatly influenced me. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to know, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital had no benefit for me other than gaining weight. Before, during, and after the hospital, while I was within the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men speaking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making their presence known. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team speaking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they distanced me from the fear I would feel, making me smile and relaxed with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I was experiencing with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. They made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained as an unforgettable experience in my mind. In short, if there is an extraordinary high-frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the entirety of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it, and seeing it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken toward curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that may exist outside the evolutionary constants of nutrition, reproduction, and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, modern man's dilemma is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, didn't believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added much to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is that regardless of which human or human community it is that accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, including what I prefer to call the truth, the Abrahamic religions, those who find nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attribute divine powers to them, whether or not they resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness caused by one's existence enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), and some people's lack of importance to these cores or lack of meaning-making, which makes them more human, the isolation of mind and existence, being alienated and distanced, creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning doesn't exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original when they produce poetry, plastic arts, or different practices in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not anxious about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person can't help but say such a human being. Most schizophrenic attacks, as I'm said to have experienced, certainly don't contain a spectacle-like excitement. What's extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. Modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time, the neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, can sometimes be reached much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my capacity for concentration is above normal, whether the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have had a troublesome Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric drugs, only with meditation, losing myself in the patterns I randomly drew freehand, and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the mystic born in Kars who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to be at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole struggle began with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Suddenly falling from a devotion to nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil, and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm reflects on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, although staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view an endless horizon. First, I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similarities of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This effort of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I tried to provide figural interpretations that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps belonging to another dimension as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allowed, giving the agility of a street artist or graffiti artist's tag or signature. The Spotted Figures of So-Called Schizophrenia In a 3-month process I experienced, according to psychiatrists, the psychosis I entered increased in effect and reached a schizophrenic point. As one of those who was rarely aware of my own condition, I consider myself lucky. I knew what I was experiencing and harbored neither fear nor anxiety. Although the figurative spots flowing before my eyes were not as colorful as what I painted, it wouldn't be wrong to call this extraordinary. The human mind is an unlimited creator in producing free and varied mutant faces or beings, should I say. A unique science fiction. The contour variations of emerging and surface-moving figures are rich. Contour boundaries and the patterns they contain are adjacent to each other and sometimes nested, overlapping, and side by side. From surfaces and grounds, sometimes from the atmosphere, I could only watch their flows at variable speeds. Sometimes a figure that attracted my attention more would slow down and allow me to observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future filled me. As if I knew from within that what I was experiencing was temporary. I'm lucky to have been able to possess this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenia rich in visual abundance. What would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is not acute but a chronic syndrome with continuity. First, I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey takes two hours. Without medication, I struggled, got bored, and felt overwhelmed, but this situation brought me to a point where I needed to be. The medications don't prevent these illusions, but they solve my sleep problems and relieve the fatigue caused by the unique thing I experience. The curiosity I've always had about mysticism and metaphysical subjects made me feel as if the situation I was in was a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than frightening was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings mixed among the amorphous faces waving the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always greatly influenced me. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to know, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and don't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital had no benefit for me other than gaining weight. Before, during, and after the hospital, while I was within the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men speaking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making their presence known. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team speaking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they distanced me from the fear I would feel, making me smile and relaxed with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I was experiencing with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. They made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with occasionally intensifying attacks remained as an unforgettable experience in my mind. In short, if there is an extraordinary high-frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the entirety of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it, and seeing it as suitable for the ignorance of riffraff should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken toward curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being conducted regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that may exist outside the evolutionary constants of nutrition, reproduction, and geographical adaptation conditions. From Carl Jung to Freud, modern man's dilemma is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, didn't believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences, esoteric secrets added much to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is that regardless of which human or human community it is that accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, including what I prefer to call the truth, the Abrahamic religions, those who find nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attribute divine powers to them, whether or not they resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seems like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness caused by one's existence enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), and some people's lack of importance to these cores or lack of meaning-making, which makes them more human, the isolation of mind and existence, being alienated and distanced, creating an imaginary world for oneself where this lost meaning doesn't exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original when they produce poetry, plastic arts, or different practices in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not anxious about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person can't help but say such a human being. Most schizophrenic attacks, as I'm said to have experienced, certainly don't contain a spectacle-like excitement. What's extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. Modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time, the neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, can sometimes be reached much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my capacity for concentration is above normal, whether the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced is an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have had a troublesome Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my completely alone workshop without using any psychiatric drugs, only with meditation, losing myself in the patterns I randomly drew freehand, and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurdjieff, the mystic born in Kars who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to be at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole struggle began with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Suddenly falling from a devotion to nothingness. My escape from this nothingness was possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil, and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm reflects on the surface. My first works were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from a search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, although staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view an endless horizon. First, I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are replicas, similarities of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This effort of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come nested, overlapping, side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I tried to provide figural interpretations that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps belonging to another dimension as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allowed, giving the agility of a street artist or graffiti artist's tag or signature.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2026
• Style: Abstract
• Subject Matter: Figure
• Surface: Wood Panel
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.004
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Technique: Brush Work
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 9