Entities 5

Spotted figures of so-called schizophrenia During a three-month period I experienced, the psychosis I entered, as defined by psychiatrists, intensified and reached a schizophrenic point. As one of those who are rarely aware of their own condition, I consider myself fortunate. I knew what I was experiencing and harbored neither fear nor anxiety. The figured spots flowing before my eyes, though not as colorful as I painted them, would not be wrong to describe as extraordinary. The human mind is free and rich in variation; whether I call them mutant faces or entities, it is a limitless creator. A unique science fiction of its own. The contour variations of the figures that emerged and moved on the surface were rich. The contour boundaries and the patterns they contained were adjacent to each other, sometimes intertwined, overlapping, and side by side. I watched their flows from surfaces, backgrounds, and sometimes from the atmosphere at varying speeds. Sometimes a figure that attracted my attention more would slow down, allowing me to observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future overtook me. It was as if I knew deep down that what I was experiencing was temporary. I am fortunate to have been able to possess this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenic with abundant visual richness, what would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is a syndrome that is seen as chronic, not acute, and has continuity. First, I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I got lazy about going to the hospital every month. The journey was two hours. I struggled without medication, got bored, felt overwhelmed, but this situation carried me to a point where I should be. The medications didn't prevent these illusions, but they resolved my sleep problem and relieved the fatigue created by the unique thing I was experiencing. My curiosity about mysticism and metaphysical subjects also caused my current situation to seem like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome, which I found interesting rather than terrible, was easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was astonishing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces that waved the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always influenced me. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all those interesting and unique figures I encountered, there were also special people I was happy to meet. They welcomed me with an interest that amazed me. They spoke with me as if they had knowledge about the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and now don't remember. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during, and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making me feel they were with me. The approaches of this suggestive team talking in my head, with the sensitivity of doctors, made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they distanced me from the fear I might feel and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss myself, to love myself. It was as if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing this extraordinary situation with realistic approaches. They made me feel it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome I experienced for three months, with occasionally intensifying attacks, remained as an unforgettable experience in my mind. In short, if there is an extraordinary high-frequency phenomenon, I think I briefly touched it. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness. The fact that these metaphysical experiences consist of the entirety of ancient human experiences being seen as meaningless and devoid of meaning reminds me of an arrogant blindness. Ignoring the metaphysical world, despising it and considering it suitable for the ignorance of the rabble should leave one in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken toward curiosity and truth. Apart from the constants of evolution—nutrition, reproduction, and geographical adaptation conditions—we have entered an age where acceptable experiments are conducted regarding the reality that other constants that may exist, different dimensions we can see. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this endless order of possession and competition, the individual's knowing his own truth and cooperating by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj-i Mansur said they encountered Allah in their meditations. A scholar like Ibn Arabi expressed that Allah had him write one of his works. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd could openly express that he did not believe in fate and the afterlife. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality and its practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences and esoteric secrets added much to man, but according to rules, they were hidden from ordinary people. The point I want to reach is this: Whatever human or community that considers nature sacred, a mountain, a majestic animal; attributes divine powers to it; accepts a more spiritual atmosphere whether it resembles or doesn't resemble mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, including the Abrahamic religions that I prefer to call truth, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seem like enemies of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness suffered by the being enslaved to incessant gain and ownership—human or product; and some people's not caring about these cores or not being able to make sense of them makes him more human. The isolation and alienation of mind and being causes man to distance himself and build an imaginary world for himself, devoid of lost meaning. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. When I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises during a period when I was alone and in pain, and began reading every source I found, something must have been triggered. An escape. Schizophrenia is perhaps one of the methods found by the human mind; a conscious or unconscious, reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most are unique and original with the poems they produce in their own worlds, plastic arts, or different practices. Another important characteristic of theirs is that they don't carry concerns like being understood or liked. Most schizophrenic attacks, of course, don't contain the spectacular excitement said to be what I experienced. What was extraordinary was that, despite the psychiatric acceptance that it is seen as acute, not accepted, and claimed to continue, my syndrome harbored the feeling from the beginning that it would have an end. The neon colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky made me think that modern mystics say that sometimes this impressive level I reached in a short time is reached much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and both are normal. In this case, I doubted whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, if my concentration capacity was above normal, a visual and auditory experience. I cannot consider myself to have experienced a laborious sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah, in my solitary workshop, without using any psychiatric medication; only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand, and the dhikrs I occasionally performed, accompanied by compositions that harmonize Anatolian melodies by Gurdjieff, born in Kars, who tells the world that telepathy is possible, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seemed to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, all the effort began with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Suddenly falling from a devotion to a nothingness. My escape from this nothingness became possible with non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil, and surfaces. The enthusiasm that got stuck was reflected on the surface. My first works were upcycle assemblages I made with waste materials on large-sized house doors. Over time, I completely abstracted from a search. After the medications I quit, my sleep became forbidden; staying sleepless for days made me tense but carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds. My view was an endless horizon. First, I looked for figures in the clouds. These shapeless or shaped figures in the totality flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to paint? I enjoyed it. These are figures, mostly drawn in mixed technique on 70x100 duralit, replicas of these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. A quite difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their fingerprint; I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This endeavor of mine could continue throughout the flow of the said moving figures. Defining my works as "abstract graffiti" seems appropriate to me. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come together intertwined, overlapping, and side by side, they reach a composition and wholeness. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I too tried to convey figurative interpretations belonging to another dimension that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once excitedly witnessed—perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps like sacred plants show us—as much as my hand allows; with the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2026
• Style: Abstract
• Subject Matter: Figure
• Surface: Wood Panel
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.004
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Technique: Brush Work
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 12