Evil Royals

According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is a syndrome with continuity that is seen as chronic, not acute. First I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey is two hours. I struggled without medication, got bored and depressed, but this situation carried me to a point where I needed to be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solved my sleep problems and took away the fatigue created by the unique thing I was experiencing. My curiosity about mysticism and metaphysical subjects that I had always felt made me feel that the situation I was in seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than terrible was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces that waved the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always impressed me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They talked to me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and can't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, they were trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making it known that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they distanced me from the fear I would hear and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel that it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with attacks that intensified from time to time remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. The attitude of ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it and seeing it as suitable for riffraff ignorance should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being carried out regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the conditions of evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences and esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is that whatever human or human community it may be that accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, whether or not it resembles mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, including the Abrahamic religions that I prefer to call truth, that considers nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributes divine powers to it, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seem like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness drawn by the being enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), and some people's not giving importance to these cores or lacking meaning-making, which makes them more human, causes the mind and being to be isolated, estranged and distanced, creating an imaginary world where this lost meaning does not exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, something must have been triggered when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not worried about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say here is a person like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks that I am said to have experienced do not contain spectacular excitement, of course. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon-like colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my concentration capacity is above normal, the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced was an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have had a difficult Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my solitary workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurjieff, a mystic born in Kars who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a dedication suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness became possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. The first works I made were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from any search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, even though staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are a replica, similar to these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This effort of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come together intertwined, on top of each other, side by side, they reach a composition and integrity. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figurative interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature. The Spotted Figures of So-Called Schizophrenia In a 3-month process I experienced, reaching a schizophrenic point with the increasing effect of psychosis that I entered according to psychiatrists' definition. As one of those who are rarely aware of my own condition, I consider myself lucky. I knew what I was experiencing I harbored neither fear nor anxiety. The figured spots flowing before my eyes, although not as colorful as I painted them, it would not be wrong to describe this as extraordinary. The human mind is an unlimited creator in producing free and varied mutant faces or beings, should I say. A unique science fiction. The contour variations of emerging and surface-moving figures are rich. Contour boundaries and the patterns they contain are adjacent to each other and sometimes intertwined, on top of each other and side by side. I was able to watch their flows from surfaces and grounds, sometimes from the atmosphere at variable speeds. Sometimes a figure that attracted my attention more would slow down and allow me to observe it thoroughly. I think I was the one directing the flow speed of these figures. Neither fear nor anxiety about the future covered me. As if I knew deep down that what I was experiencing was temporary. I am lucky to have been able to have this fearless consciousness. What would happen if I were trapped inside a schizophrenia with rich visual abundance. What would happen if I were stigmatized. According to psychiatry, schizophrenia is a syndrome with continuity that is seen as chronic, not acute. First I received support from psychiatric medications, but then I gave up because I was too lazy to go to the hospital every month. The journey is two hours. I struggled without medication, got bored and depressed, but this situation carried me to a point where I needed to be. The medications don't prevent these illusions but they solved my sleep problems and took away the fatigue created by the unique thing I was experiencing. My curiosity about mysticism and metaphysical subjects that I had always felt made me feel that the situation I was in seemed like a blessing to me. My reconciliation with this extraordinary syndrome that I found interesting rather than terrible was very easy. The detailed quality of the patterns I observed was truly amazing. Sometimes mythological beings also mixed among the amorphous faces that waved the flag of freedom from every angle. These were winged white and black dragons. This mythical figure has always impressed me greatly. At my mother's request, who became aware of what I was experiencing, I was admitted to a clinic. About three months. Apart from all the interesting and unique figures I encountered, let's say special people whom I was happy to meet, they greeted me with an interest that amazed me. They talked to me as if they had knowledge of the special thing I was experiencing. Some called me god, some angel, some gave me different names from Anatolian myths that I didn't know and can't remember now. I didn't think much about how this happened and what it meant. The hospital was of no benefit to me other than gaining weight. Before, during and after the hospital, while I was in the syndrome, there was a team consisting of women and men talking in my head. This team was observing me anatomically, trying to calm me down with suggestive words, making it known that they were with me. The doctor-like sensitivity of this suggestive team talking in my head made me think of them as angels. After all, I was watching a different dimension or witnessing the game my mind was playing on me. Sometimes they distanced me from the fear I would hear and made me smile and relax with their ridiculous comments. Sometimes they told me to kiss and love myself. As if they tried to keep me away from fear by normalizing what I experienced with realistic approaches to this extraordinary situation. they made me feel that it was temporary. This visual and auditory "acute schizophrenia" syndrome that I experienced for three months with attacks that intensified from time to time remained in my mind as an unforgettable experience. In short, if there is an extraordinary high frequency phenomenon, I think I possessed it for a short time. Schizophrenia is not a temporary illness that comes and goes. The attitude that these metaphysical experiences consisting of the totality of ancient human experiences are meaningless and express nothing reminds me of an arrogant blindness. The attitude of ignoring the metaphysical world, belittling it and seeing it as suitable for riffraff ignorance should leave a person in shame. Metaphysics is the first step taken towards curiosity and truth. We have entered an age where acceptable experiments are being carried out regarding the validity of the fact that we can see other dimensions of different constants that can exist outside the conditions of evolutionary constants, nutrition, reproduction and geographical adaptation. From Carl Jung to Freud, the dilemma of modern man is that the order in which he exists is far from showing him the truth. In this order where there is no end to possession and competition, an individual's knowing his own truth and being in cooperation by nature for hundreds of centuries. In the early periods of Islam, enigmatic figures like Hallaj Mansur also said that he encountered Allah in his meditation. A scholar like Ibn Arabi also said that Allah had one of his works written to him. More rational masters like Ibn Rushd, for example, did not believe in fate and the afterlife and expressed this openly. This polyphony disappeared over time. Spirituality or practices seem to be deliberately corrupted. The sharing of mystical experiences and esoteric secrets added a lot to humans and were hidden from ordinary people according to the rules. The point I want to reach is that whatever human or human community it may be that accepts a more spiritual atmosphere, whether or not it resembles mythological existential forms that may belong to different dimensions, including the Abrahamic religions that I prefer to call truth, that considers nature, a mountain, a majestic animal sacred and attributes divine powers to it, the occupying environment created by the modern world and the value of material seem like the enemy of the conscience that the metaphysical world creates in its essence. The pain and meaninglessness drawn by the being enslaved to endless acquisition and ownership (human or product), and some people's not giving importance to these cores or lacking meaning-making, which makes them more human, causes the mind and being to be isolated, estranged and distanced, creating an imaginary world where this lost meaning does not exist. This was exactly the reason for what I experienced. During a period when I was alone and in pain, something must have been triggered when I started to help myself with meditation and some mystical exercises and read every source I found. An escape. Schizophrenia is one of the methods found by the human mind, perhaps conscious, perhaps unconscious, a reflexive choice. I know schizophrenics who are satisfied with the world they enter during schizophrenic attacks. Most of them are unique and original with poems, plastic arts, or different practices when they produce in their own worlds. Another important feature is that they are not worried about being understood or liked by anyone. So much so that a person cannot help but say here is a person like himself. Most schizophrenic attacks that I am said to have experienced do not contain spectacular excitement, of course. What is extraordinary is that despite psychiatry's constant claim that this acute condition is not accepted and will continue, I harbored the feeling that my syndrome would have an end. The neon-like colors I felt in my focused meditations and sometimes saw in the sky, modern mystics say that this impressive level I reached in a short time can be reached sometimes much earlier, sometimes after many experiences, and that both are normal. In this case, I doubt whether what I experienced was a schizophrenic attack or, since my concentration capacity is above normal, the visual and auditory syndrome I experienced was an acute schizophrenic case rarely encountered in medicine. I cannot consider myself to have had a difficult Sufi experience, but could I have reached the level of fana fillah in my solitary workshop without using any psychiatric medication, only with meditation, getting lost in the patterns I drew randomly with free hand and the dhikrs I performed from time to time, And also with the compositions of Gurjieff, a mystic born in Kars who told the world that telepathy is possible, blending Anatolian melodies, spinning round and round in the middle of my workshop? The deprivation caused by a tragic and painful separation I experienced seems to lie at the heart of the matter. In fact, the whole effort started with the aim of getting rid of this deprivation. Falling from a dedication suddenly into nothingness. My escape from this nothingness became possible through non-stop production. I tried to record the illusion flowing before my eyes with paint, pencil and surfaces. The trapped enthusiasm is reflected on the surface. The first works I made were large-scale upcycle assemblages using waste materials on house doors. Over time, completely abstracted from any search, although my sleep was forbidden due to the medications I quit, even though staying sleepless for days made me tense, it carried me to a tired but intense consciousness. I watched the clouds, my view was an endless horizon. First I continued to look for figures in the clouds. And all these shapeless or shaped figures in this wholeness flowing before my eyes became my source of inspiration. What else could I try to depict? I enjoyed it. These figures, generally drawn with mixed technique on 70x100 Duralit, are a replica, similar to these observations. I tried to draw some of them as if they came from another artist's drawing. Quite a difficult endeavor. A person's drawing is like their own fingerprint. I didn't want to follow a certain style and pattern. This effort of mine could continue throughout the flow of the moving figures in question. I find it suitable to define my works as abstract graffiti. Although each created figure has separate forms from each other, when they come together intertwined, on top of each other, side by side, they reach a composition and integrity. In this age when new physics can observe geometric shapes from other dimensions, I also tried to provide the figurative interpretations belonging to other dimensions that accompany these geometric shapes and that I once witnessed with excitement, perhaps produced by my mind, perhaps as some sacred plants show us, as much as my hand allows, by giving the agility of a street artist's or graffiti artist's tag or signature.

• Painting Type: Acrylic
• Year: 2026
• Style: Abstract
• Subject Matter: Figure
• Surface: Wood Panel
• Dimensions: Width: 70 × Height: 100 × Depth: 0.004
• Orientation: Vertical/Portrait
• Frame: Unframed
• Color Palette: Multicolor
• Technique: Brush Work
• Finish: Varnished
• Signature: Signed
• Condition: Excellent
• Authenticity: Original
• Edition: Edition Number: 8